Supersizers go....

One of my current favourite television shows is "Supersizers go..."

It is a satirical food/history show in the vein of Supersize Me. Sound confused? Don't be - it's awesome.

Giles, a food critic, and Sue, a comedienne, spend a week eating, dressing and living the lifestyle of different time periods and then have medical tests, pre and post said week, to assess the impact said historical diets have on their health. 

It's both fascinating and hysterical.

Here's the link to Youtube where you can find all the exciting adventures of eating your way through Wartime, 20s, 50s, 70s, 80s, Restoration, Regency, Victorian, Medieval, Elizabethan, Edwardian Britain, Revolutionary France and Ancient Rome.

Supersizers go...!

Caroling, caroling through the town

So here are some funny words that you mostly only see in Christmas Carols (you might see them in other hymns, and ye olde English but do you really go around saying them all the time?) and what they mean.

Hither - as in "Come hither" or "Hither page, and stand by me" - To or toward this place
Thither - a bit rare than hither - "When we bear them thither" - To or toward that place - see the difference.
Whither - " Pray, wither sailed those ships all three" -  To which place - getting the pattern now?

Oblations -  "We to the Christ-child, bring our hearts' oblations" - A thing presented or offered to God or a god -  we are offering Jesus our hearts
Wassail/wassailing - "Here we come a-wassailing, among the leaves so green" or "And to you, your wassail too" - the practice of going round to your neighbours and toasting them good health and possibly begging for scraps.
Troll - "Troll the ancient Yule tide carol" - not the internet kind. To sing loudly, freely or in a carefree way.
Cloven - "Still through the cloven skies they come," - split or divided (like the Devil's hooves)
Lo - "For lo! the days are hastening on" - Look, see, behold
Exultation - "Sing in exultation" - The act of exulting; lively joy at success or victory, or at any advantage gained; rapturous delight; triumph

And here's a picture of us all caroling at my parent's house, with all our friends and relations - it's a yearly tradition.

P.S. If I get to 50 readers, I'm going to do something super special. If you can't wait, you could create 2 phony blogger accounts and give me a bump. *wink*

Product Review: Junior Mints

So I was inspired by this post by Ginger at Sailing over a Cardboard Sea for Junior Mints, and when I saw them at my local coffee shop I thought - Why not? It seemed like a cleansing burst of synchronicity.

Apparently, Junior Mints are some kind of American Movie Theatre Institution. A family favourite at the movie concession stand - not unlike a box of Maltesers in Australia.

They have also featured in a Seinfeld episode "The Junior Mint" which obviously means they've reached the pinnacle in contemporary culture.

"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint; it's delicious!"

So my review of this sweet treat -

Pretty much an after dinner mint in a box. Possibly providing for easier delivery to the mouth - but for $3 a box, nothing so amazing that I need to buy a box every week.

I like mint, I like dark chocolate, I like the combination, but I think I'll stick with a mint slice - after all, you get a junior mint and a chocolate bbiscuit all in one.

Lest we forget

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Photo from here

Today is Remembrance Day, or Armistice Day, so buy a poppy to support our veterans, and  the families of the men and women who give their lives and service in defence of our country.

Having recently cycled through the Somme I have a new respect of those men who charged through the hills of the somme with a full pack under heavy fire.

Here's a photo from my cycling trip showing the beautiful hilly nothingness that is the Somme countryside.

What not to wear

To the races - if you are a television personality.

Dear Channel 7,

Please extend your wardrobe budget so that
1) Fifi Box has a dress that fits her and is not pinned up the back
2) Fifi Box has a dress that isn't an ugly sack
3) Fifi Box has a hat, fascinator or hattinator - for pity's sake, it's the races - it's the Melbourne Cup!



Sincerely,
This young crank

Every man who possibly can should force himself to a holiday of a full month in a year, whether he feels like taking it or not. ~ William James

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. ~ Robert Orben

Yep, still on holidays. Enjoy a fruity cocktail on me.

“A vacation should be just long enough that you're boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you.”

Elise is on vacation -  Normal transmission will resume in September

Image from http://rememberwhen.gazettelive.co.uk/2010/02/good-morning-campers.html

Artists reflect the course of obesity with expanding portions in the Last Supper

From The Times
March 24, 2010

Chris Smyth


Jesus Christ and Ronald McDonald may seem to have little in common. But both are presiding over the supersizing of their followers’ eating habits, according to researchers who found that the portion sizes in paintings of the Last Supper have piled up over the past 1,000 years.

American academics analysed 52 of the most famous depictions of the Last Supper and found that the appetites of the Apostles have become increasingly prodigious. The size of the main dish grew 69.2 per cent and bread portions by 23.1 per cent over the millennium, while the plates grew by 65.6 per cent, they found.

The findings suggest that today’s obesity crisis may have deep historical roots, according to the researchers. “I think people assume that increased serving sizes, or ‘portion distortion’, is a recent phenomenon,” said Brian Wansink, director of the Food and Brand Lab at Cornell University, New York, who led the study. “But this research indicates that it’s a general trend for at least the last millennium.”

From the austere repast laid on by the early 14th-century Tuscan artist Duccio, through Leonardo’s lively party of 1495, the supper became a feast in Titian’s depiction of 1544. When Tintoretto painted the Last Supper in 1592-94 the table was groaning with dishes.

Professor Wansink, with his brother Craig, a Presbyterian minister and Professor of Religious Studies at Virginia Wesleyan College, examined dozens of artworks including modern depictions by Stanley Spencer and Salvador Dalí.

Using computer design software, they scanned the meals and calculated the portion size relative to the head size of the average apostle. They found a big upwards trend, in research published in the International Journal of Obesity.

The Bible, being more concerned with its religious import, does not dwell on the amount of food consumed at the Last Supper, and it was a “tertiary matter” for most artists, Professor Wansink said. “The ampleness of the food is coming from the mind of the artist, showing what he thought was reasonable and appropriate in the time and place he was living,” he told The Times.

Professor Wansink, whose book Mindless Eating studies how social and environmental forces affect how much we eat, argues that the increasingly meaty Christianity on display is an indication of improvements in agriculture.

“The last thousand years have witnessed dramatic increases in the production, availability, safety, abundance and affordability of food,” he said. “We think that as art imitates life, these changes have been reflected in paintings of history’s most famous dinner.”

The New Testament mentions only bread and wine, but Professor Wansink discovered that fish was the most commonly depicted main course, featuring in 18 per cent of canvases. Considering the symbolism of the fish and Jesus’s injunction to his disciples to become “fishers of men”, this is perhaps unsurprising. Lamb was the main course in 14 per cent of the pictures and, more puzzling for a gathering of Jews on the eve of Passover, 7 per cent of the paintings featured pork.

Jeff Brunstrom, Reader in Behavioural Nutrition at the University of Bristol, described the research as “very interesting”. But he said: “The obesity epidemic is a relatively modern phenomenon and it’s really only in the past 40 to 50 years that you’ve seen big changes in body mass index (BMI).”

The researchers needed to show whether the larger portions had been making people fatter, he said. “If people were really eating 70 per cent more calories than they used to we would be rolling around,” said Dr Brunstrom. “Whether we have seen an increase in BMI historically is unclear.”

That will have to remain among the divine mysteries: the Wansink brothers did not assess whether Christ and his disciples themselves were getting bigger.

Mothers lose art of cooking

From the Herald Sun yesterday...

Mothers lose art of cooking

Traditional cooking skills such as poaching an egg and making short-crust pastry are almost obsolete, according to a new survey.

More than two thirds of today's mothers (my question is where are the fathers?) do not know how to make gravy from scratch, compared with a third of their mothers. Only 15 per cent know how to make custard, compared with almost half of mothers 35 years ago.

Teh study of 2500 British women aged 18 to 70 finds traditional cooking skills have deteriorated, with 65 per cent of the women admitting their mothers cooked more family meals from scratch than they do.

One in four knows how to poach and egg without gadgets, compared with 75 per cent of the older generation. Only 16 per cent can make short-crust pastry.

Clearly there is room for a little blogger like me in the big bad world out there. Not know how to make short-crust pastry.... Fuggedaboutit!

How much of human life is lost in waiting.

HOW TO WAIT AT TABLE

ORDER AND ROUTINE.

The waiting commences from the head of the table, and there must be assistants, outside the door, to bring the dishes and remove them entirely from the room. When the dinner is served on the table the attendant must stand at the left-hand side of the carver, and remove the covers. As the soup comes first, a plateful is carried to each person, unless they signify they do not wish for any, and commences from the one on the right of the host. The sherry or claret is then handed round. At a large gathering the moment a person's plate is empty, or finished with, it must be quietly taken away, spoon and all, but when the party is only a small one, the plates are usually left until all have finished the course. In any case, the plates of the host and hostess are always left till last. At informal parties guests should be asked if they wish for a second helping, but not at formal gatherings. Never remove a dish which is being served until all have finished that course. The fish is carried round in the same manner as the soup, the attendant having in the left hand the sauce-boat, or being followed by another servant carrying it. All plates are placed by the attendant at the left-hand side of the person being served, and when used removed from the left or right. Entrées are invariably handed even when the joints are carved upon the table. When the joint comes on, and the meat has been taken to the guests as before, the vegetables (which are usually placed upon the sideboard, and not on the table) are handed about, together with a sauce-boat of gravy for fowls or birds. As soon as all have been served with the meat course the wines are again handed round. The meat course finished, the soiled plates are removed, and the sweet course, followed by the savoury, is brought in. Dinner over, the unused cutlery, the glass, cruets and carving cloth are brushed away from the guests' left-hand side; the dessert-plates, finger bowls and port glasses are arranged upon the table; and after everything is in proper order, the port and a few dishes are handed round by the attendants. who then leave the room. In handing aerated waters, lemonade, etc., the attendant takes the small tray or salver in the left hand and, standing on the left side of the guest who places his or her glass upon it, pours out the required liquid with the right hand. When clean knives and forks are required, they must be placed on the table and not handed on the salver.

At hospitality school we learnt to serve from the right and clear from the left... I wonder which is the more "correct" way or if it has changed over the years?

Dishes should be handed at a convenient level: they are usually served too high and not far enough forward. They should be served with the left hand, the body turned a little to the right. If the right hand be free do not rest it on the back of the chair.

Heaven forbid your wait staff should get overly familiar with your guests and dare to touch their chair.

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.

FAMILY SUPPERS.

At these, food of a light description should be served, and to make these meals enjoyable the dishes should be as varied as possible. Fish re-dressed in the form of mayonnaises, croquettes, or pies, can easily be made into a good supper dish; the remains of poultry or game hashed make a tempting and savoury one where hot dishes are liked, and all kinds of odds and ends can, with a little ingenuity, be utilized to form more appetising food at supper time than perpetual cold meat. Salad or cucumber should not be wanting at the family meal in summer, when such things are plentiful and cheap, while in winter a few cold potatoes friend make a nice addition, or a well-made potato salad. As with breakfast dishes, those for supper are more a question of trouble and time than cost.

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.

TO LAY THE CLOTH FOR DINNER.

The cloth itself must first be put on straight and evenly, and if at all creased should be pressed with a clean iron over a damp cloth. The cloth should not be laid upon the bare table, but the table should be first covered by some asbestos-felt or an old cloth. Should the housewife wish to display her highly-polished table, she may dispense with a table-cloth and use dainty lace mats for each plate or dish, taking care to protect the polish of the table by using small asbestos mats under the fancy mats.

Here we go with the asbestos again. I believe all of my place mats are cork backed, so I hope that suffices.

Everything necessary for laying the cloth, including the napkins, should first be brought into the room, and it is a good plan to put the latter round the table first, so that the same amount of space can be allowed to each person.

Remember we're giving each person AT LEAST 24 inches. Except at a lot of restaurants where they really don't seem to care if you keep nudging the person next to you when cutting your steak.

These occupy the space between the knives and forks, and in each, if folded, should be put either a dinner roll or a piece of bread cut rather thick.

Remembering of course that side plates are a definite no-no at dinner.

Table-napkins are often merely folded over and laid flat on the plate ready for the hors d'œuvre, between the knives and forks; a small knife is then laid on the napkin.

Next place the menu cards, if these are used, either one to each person, or one between three or four, if only a few are provided.

The water jugs, cruets and salt cellars may next be laid. There should be a cruet at each corner of the table, while a salt cellar should be between every two persons. We now come to the knives and forks, and of these it is usual to lay a large one of each, the knife flanked to the right by a fish knife, a soup spoon, and an hors d'œuvre fork, and on the left of the fork should be the fish fork; other knives and forks are supplied with the plates for different courses.

A cruet set is a collection of little bottles of vinegar and oil and pepper... sometimes salt as well.

The question of what wine is to be drunk at dinner will determine what glasses are wanted, as the glasses used for dessert are put on afterwards.

Supposing, as is so often the case, sherry, champagne and claret are to be served, put the proper glasses for each to the right side of each person, setting them in a triangle, with the sherry glass (the first used) at the top, just reaching to the point of the knife, but at a convenient distance from it.

Exactly the same way we were taught to put glasses on the table at hospitality school. Some things never change.

The sideboard requires to be laid as carefully as the dinner-table itself, and everything that can be put there ready for placing on the table afterwards, such as finger-bowls, glasses for dessert wine, dessert plates, decanters, and knives, forks and spoons of every kind should be there ready and carefully arranged. The decanters, salvers, glasses, etc., should be put well at the back of the sideboard, and the plates, knives, forks, etc., neatly laid in front.

When the dinner is not carved on the table, one specially intended for the carver should be prepared with carving knives and forks (the former carefully sharpened beforehand) of various kinds, soup ladle, fish-carvers, etc., in the order of serving the dinner, that nothing may delay him when he commences his duties.

I always, always, always carve in the kitchen. I don't know why, but it seems easier somehow, and I always make a big mess which would probably ruin my table cloth.

Champagne, hock, or other sparkling wines that are only uncorked when wanted, may find a place under the sideboard of side tables where the ice pails are to be found; decanted wines are put on the sideboard.

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.

DINNER.

When dinner is placed upon the table, if there is only on chief dish place it at the head of the table. If two, one to the host and one to the hostess. If three, one (the principle) at the head and the other two together near the bottom. If four, the two principle at top and bottom, the others at the sides. Six dishes can be arranged as for four. Seven will require three dishes down the middle of the tale and two on either side.

To be honest, I think I just plonk 'em down wherever they will fit. My bad...

Courses. - The order of the courses of a modern dinner should be as follows: the soup is usually preceded by an Hors 'dœvre, such as caviare, croûtons, sardines, oysters, or other little appétissants.

The First Course is usually soup, the second fish, then comes the entrées (made dishes). The next Course, joints, then poultry and game, and after these sweets, then savory dishes, then cheese and celery. When there are two roast meats they should be opposite colours, i.e., not two whites or two browns. Entrées require care in handling; there is nearly always gravy with them, and this must not be upset upon the cloth. The last arrangement of dishes - which cannot be called a course, seeing that the dinner is virtually over - the dessert comprises tastefull arranged fruits that are most in season.

Following is a specimen menu:-

SPECIMEN MENU FOR A DINNER

FRENCH

Potage.

Consommé a la Colbert

Poisson.

Turbot bouilli

Sauce aux Huîtres.

Entrée.

Filet de Bœuf à la Brillat

Tomate farcies à l'Italienne

Rôti.

Faisan bardé au Cresson.

Salase de Saison. Pommes frites.

Entremets.

Omelette à la Célestine.

Gelée aux Bananes.

Bonne Bouche.

Buissone d'Ecrevisse.

Dessert.

ENGLISH

Soup.

Clear Soup with Poached Eggs.

Fish.

Boiled Turbot. Oyster Sauce

Entrée.

Braised Fillet of Beef.

Stuffed Tomates.

Roast.

Roast Pheasant with Cress.

Chipped Potatoes. Salad.

Sweets.

Omelet with Preserved Fruit.

Banana Jelly.

Savoury.

Dressed Prawns.

Dessert.

I always just assumed sweets and dessert were meant to be the same thing and people were just being pretentious. However, it is evident in this context that they are completely different things. It also makes my 6 course meal into only 4 courses, because Hors d'œurves don't count as a course... and I would imagine neither does cake.

In giving a dinner it is far better to have a simple meal, which one knows will be properly cooked and serves, than to risk anything elaborate, for it is difficult to appear utterly unconcerned when one is harassed by petty cares, and a thoroughly good hostess is one who is able herself to enjoy, without anxiety, the dinner she is giving.

This is by far and away the most important point I think in the whole chapter. Emily Post also agrees that it is better to have a good simple meal than a bad elaborate one. Also on this note, it is hard to enjoy oneself with a giant burn on ones' hand as happened at a recent dinner of mine and put a pretty big dampner on the whole evening.

The temperature of the room is a very important subject that is often overlooked. It is not possible thoroughly to enjoy a good dinner in a room either too hot or too cold.

Particularly a hot cooked Christmas dinner on a 44oC day in Australia.

Game on, Elizabeth David...

I recently had a birthday, and for said birthday a lovely family friend gave me a cookery book (everyone seems to have picked up on my exciting new-ish obsession for cookery books...).

I got Elizabeth David's French Provincial Cooking, first published in 1960.

Elizabeth David is considered responsible for bringing French and Italian cooking into the British home (along with now ubiquitous items such as olive oil and the courgette). In a Britain worn down by post-war rationing and dull food, she celebrated the regional and rural dishes of the Mediterranean rather than the fussier food of the gourmands and aristocrats. David's style is characterised by terse descriptions of the recipes themselves, accompanied by detailed descriptions of their context and historical background, and often laced with anecdotal asides. She was often scathing of bad food, including much of the food of England that she and her readers had grown up with.

I used her book in conjunction with Mrs Beeton for one dish of my latest and greatest dinner party, so I was most distressed to read this quote from her.

"If I had been given a standard Mrs Beeton instead of Mrs Leyel's wonderful recipes," she said, "I would probably never have learned to cook."

I find it endlessly interesting that a woman who was born in 1913 and was given her first cook book age 19 (The Gentle Art of Cookery by Hilda Leyel) saw Mrs Beeton as the epitome of boring and bland British Cookery, whereas I, born 70 years later, find Mrs Beeton inhabiting a fascinating world of interesting ingredients and ideas. Things that were common place for Mrs Beeton and for Ms David are strange and unusual for me. And no doubt things that are ordinary for me would be bewildering for Mrs Beeton or anyone else of that era.

Anyway, I'll not hold Ms David's poor opinion of Mrs Beeton against her, as really... she didn't know any better.

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" - Winnie the Pooh

LUNCHEONS.

Luncheon Dishes. - Ordinary luncheons, as a rule, have fewer courses than dinner, but in other respects they are almost identical, and may comprise hors d'oeurves, soup, fish, meat, poultry or game, sweets and savouries. Hors d'ourves are almost invariably served as a preliminary; either soup or fish is frequently omitted, and the sweets provided are of a comparatively simple characters, such as soufflés, milk puddings, fruit tarts, compôte of fruit, etc. A joint of meat, a fruit tart or stewed fruit, or a suet or milk pudding, constitute the luncheon of many who dine late, more especially when the household includes children who share the midday meal. Or the luncheon may consist of the cold remains of the previous night's dinner, in which case parts of birds, tarts, creams, jellies, etc., are usually made more presentable by being cut into portions suitable for serving, and neatly arranged on a dish.

The Service of Luncheon varies considerably, for while luncheon à la Russe may be said to predominate in fashionable circles, yet a very large number of people still follow the older custom of having all the hot dishes placed upon the table.

The table arrangements for luncheons served à la Russe are the same as for dinner, the centre of the table being occupied by nothing but fruit, flowers, cruets, and other articles used in the service. Under any circumstances, each cover should comprise one large and one small knife, a fork, and a small fork for the hors d'oeuvre, but the old custom of placing a small fork and dessertspoon is no longer followed, except at informal meals. When fish is included in the menu, the knife and fork provided for its service must be laid to the right and left, on the outside of those already on the table, and if soup is to be served, a soup spoon or a tablespoon must be placed to the right, outside the fish knife. According to present fashion, the maximum alllowed to each cover is two knives and two forks, one fish knife and fork, and one soup spoon, all of which should be placed a quarter inch from each other and one inch from the edge of the table. When the dishes are placed upon the table, instead of being served à la Russe, each dish to be carved must be accompanied by appropriate carving-knives and forks, and each entrée, or sweet, by a tablespoon and fork. The wine to be served will determine the number of glasses to be used. If, say, claret, hock and minerals are selected, then tumblers, hock and claret glasses should be provided; but glasses should never appear on the table unless the wine to which they are appropriate is to be served.

Table-napkins should be placed in the space between the knives and forks.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It's unbelievably important. You should eat breakfast at least three times a day.

BREAKFASTS.

Breakfast Dishes. - The moral and physical welfare of mankind depends largely on its breakfast, yet many of those upon whom the responsibility of providing it rests do not realize how far-reaching may be the effects of a good or bad meal. A being well fed and warmed is naturally on better terms with himself and his surroundings than one whose minds and body are being taxed by the discomfort and annoyance of badly cooked or insufficient food. In small households there is a constant complaint of lack of variety, and the too frequent appearance of bacon and eggs, which, it must be confessed, is the sheet-anchor of the English cook.

But, notwithstanding this plea for "something new", there are over two hundred ways of dressing eggs, to say nothing of grilled chops, steaks, cutlets, kidneys, fish and mushrooms, anchovy and sardine toast, sausage rolls, sausages grilled, boiled or fried, meat patties, rissoles, croquettes and croûtes, fish omelet, fish-cakes, fish soused and kedgeree, pressed beef, galantine of beef, potato chips, potatoes fried in a variety of ways, and a host of other inexpensive and easily-prepared dishes. Many housewives cannot, of course, afford to provide some of the dishes enumerates above, but the present work includes an almost endless variety of preparations of a simple characters, which might be advantageously used to relieve the monotony of breakfast.

Which all makes perfect sense. Breakfast is very important, and if you end up eating the same cereal over and over again, it can quickly grow dull and unappealing.

The Service of Breakfast varies very little, no matter how simple or elaborate the meal. On the cottage table, the breakfast-ware, teapot, bread, butter, and dish of bacon, or whatever constitutes the homely fare, all have their allotted places, although the arrangement of the respective articles may not agree with everybody's sense of fitness. When the table is a small one, the centre of it may be occupied by a single vase of flowers, or bowls of flowers placed equidistant from each other may form the decoration of a larger table. Other appointments depends on the number of persons to be seated and the dishes to be served. When the meal consists of one dish, a knife and fore, either large or small, according to choice, and a small knife for bread and butter, should be laid for each person. When fish is included in the breakfast menu the knife and fork provided for the service must be places to the right and left outside the ordinary knife and fork. When the breakfast comprises several dishes, usually three knives and two forks are laid instead of one, but there is at the present time a steadily growing tendency to avoid unnecessary display of silver and cutlery. A small late for bread and butter is places outside the forks, and the napkin is laid in the space between the knives and forks. No hard-and-fast rules can be laid down for the disposal of the cruets, butter, toast, eggs, marmalade, etc., but they all appear on a properly-appointed table, arranged according to the space available and , of course, some symmetrical order must be maintained. As a rule, once end of the tale is occupied by the breakfast ware, sugar, hot and cold milk, tea and coffee pots, and when only one hot dish is provided, it is nearly always places at the opposite end of the table. Porridge, bread and butter and other cereal foods may be very daintily and easily be served in fireproof glassware; the same applies to stewed fruit.

Okay, not sure what Mrs B would think about toast scoffed in front of the morning telly shows...

Breakfast being, in many homes, such a moveable feast, an electric hotplate is invaluable for keeping the various dishes warm, and hot toast made with one's own hands in an electric toaster, on the table, tastes delicious indeed. An electric egg boiler or poacher on the breakfast table will save many an egg from being cooked in the kitchen and from being "not wanted" in the breakfast-room.

Such courtesy towards unwanted eggs. *sniff*

When cold dishes are served, such as ham, tongue, potted meats, sardines, etc., they may be placed down the sides of the table.

A good meal ought to begin with hunger

As I am preparing for the dinner party of the season for my up coming birthday, I thought I should explore the importance of meals.

MEALS

REGULARITY.
One important consideration with regard to meals is their regularity, and, speaking from the health point of view, it is most essential. A meal that we have waited for an hour too long is often one that we fail to appreciate; and while to the healthy irregularity is dangerous, to the delicate it is injurious. It is not difficult to determine what are the best and most convenient times to take our meals, and when once these hours are fixed, the next thing is to insist on punctuality, not only for those who serve them, but for those for whom they are prepared.

Whoops. Here we get a big F. Our breakfast and lunch are usually around the same time but due to the variety of different things going on at night time, dinner is anywhere from 6.30 to 9.30.


TABLE ARRANGEMENTS
There are few general rules which apply equally to mansion and cottage. However simple may be the meal, and however coarse in texture the cloth, it should be clean, free from creases, and arranged smoothly with the centre fold forming a true line the whole length of the table. The knives should be clean, bright and sharp, and the silver clean and well polished. When properly trained servants are kept, contrary conditions seldom exist; neither would they in small households, where the work devolves upon an inexperienced housemaid, if a few simple rules were strictly enforced, such as removing the crumbs and folding the cloth on the table, instead of allowing it to be shaken and folded outside the room; that after each meal all knives should be cleaned and made ready for use; and, what is still more important, that such articles as silver-plated dishes, spoons, etc., should be washed separately with soap and hot water, and well polished with a leather. Apart from the fact that silver thus treated always presents a bright and well-preserved appearance, there is the further consideration of the silver being kept in good condition without a frequent application of plate powder, which, however fine it may be, ultimately destroys the plated surface.

My silver is a little less than shiny, but it's going to get a good going over before Saturday.

An asbestos-felt or baize under-cloth for dining-tables cannot be too strongly recommended, for it enables the table-cloth to lie better, and the latter is more pleasant to the touch with some soft, thick substance beneath it. Sometimes the baize is drawn under the edges of the table by means of a string run through the hem, but it may be stretched more tightly when fastened underneath with small tacks, and this without the least injury to the table. Grey felt is preferred by many, because it is less likely to stain the cloth than a coloured substance, and is also less expensive.

Some of you may know baize as the stuff on pool tables. I wouldn't recommend asbestos cloth for my dining table, but it is still available for purchase - mostly from China. I believe it is illegal in Australia however.

Tablecloths and table-napkins should be of as good a quality as means will afford, and alike in design.

I just bought new napkins, however they are in a complementary colour as my table cloth is a bed sheet.

Table-linen whould be very lightly starched, for, if made too stiff, the corners of the tablecloths, instead of falling in natural folds, stand out in an awkward fashion, and the table-napkins are unpleasant to use.

A good rule is to allow 24 inches for each person's accommodation. Where the table is necessarily a little too large, a little more room does not matter, but on no account give less, for there is no greater misery than a crowded table.

Right-o, off home to measure my table and to do some calculations.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport.

Mrs Beeton touches on the subject of Australian Cookery. Which for a British woman in 1861 is rather progressive...and unusual.

I'm not convinced that she actually knew anything about Australian food, but let's see what she says.

AUSTRALIAN COOKERY.

Cookery in Australia is of course English in character, while in the hotels the French cuisine plays a prominent part just as it does in England. The various dishes which are peculiar to the country are those obtained from animals and fruits indigenous to the soil.

FISH
is plentiful and good, and includes nearly all the varieties exsteemed in England except the sole, which is not found in any Australian waters' but there are many other varieties unknown in England, such as trumpeter, schnapper, flat-heard, barracouta, etc.

VEGETABLES
grow abundantly in most parts of Australia. Sour sop, a fruit which in its ripe condition resembles the custard apple, may in its green state be cooked and served as a vegetable. Paw paw also serves the doule purpose of fruit and vegetable, for it is equally excellend boiled while in a green, unripe condition, and served with white sauce, or eaten when ripe with wine and sugar. The choko is a vegetable little known, although it grows freely in many parts of Australia. It is excellent plainly boiled and served with white sauce. Pumpkins, trombone, vegetable and custard marrows are very plentiful.

FRUIT
is so plentiful in many parts of Australia that many varieties may there be had for the picking.

POULTRY.
Birds are not plentiful, but the wild ones congregate around the water-holes, and though it is sometimes difficult to procure them in town, the sportsman on the farm will often bring in pigeons, plover, bush turkey, quail, parrots, etc. These birds are almost invariably best when stewed.

Here's a brief list of "Typical Australian Dishes" - some are not so typical, methinks.

Apricot Jam
Apricots and rice
Australian cakes
Bandicoot stewed in milk ?!? I believe Bandicoots are currently endangered so we may be waiting a very long time to try this one
Barracouta, Baked
Barramunda
Black Duck (Wood Goose)
Blackfish in Batter
Black Swan, Roasted or baked Being the state emblem of Western Australia, probably no longer on the menu too.
Cape Gooseberries
Chelgi
Choko, to Boil
Cod Steaks
Coma What the? And I can't even google it properly
Fish Klosh
Flatfish
Flathead
Gill Birds, Jugged
Gramma Pie or Tart
Grandilla CreamGrandilla Jelly
Green Fig Jam
Groper, Head and Soulders, boiled
Guava Jelly
Island Blue Geese, Roast
Kaka, or Parrot
Kangaroo Is actually pretty darn tasty... I'm surprised she doesn't have emu on the list. I think Australia is the only country in the world that eats both its' national animals.
Kangaroo tail, curried
Kangaroo Tail Fricassee
Kangaroo Tail Soup
Kawai, Baked And not the Japanese for cute, it's some kind of fish
King Fish, Baked, with tomatoes
Kumaras
Loquat Jelly
Loquat Pie or Tart
Mallee Hen, Baked
Melbourne Pancakes
Murray Cod, Boiled
Parrot Pie
Paw paw, Baked
Prickley Pear or Cactus Fruit Jelly
Pukaki, Jugged
Pumpkin Pie
Rosella Jelly I believe she means the flowers and not the birds
Schanpper, Baked
Scrub Turkey, Roast
Sour sop, to boil
Taro
Terrapin, to boil
Travalli
Trumpeter, Baked, with tomatoes
Trumpeter, Boiled
Waikato Scones
Wallaby, Roast
Water-Melon, preserved
Yellowtail

I'm not sure what half of these are, but some will definitely be on the menu. Stay tuned.

Tea for two and two for tea...

I think "Tea" is on of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted concepts out there. Afternoon tea, High tea, Tea, Dinner - all possibly meaning the same thing - or completely different ones.

So, let's go the panel and get a professionals' view.

AT HOME, HIGH AND FAMILY TEAS.

"At Home" Tea is served upon small tables, the servant before bringing it in seeing that one is placed conveniently near her mistress, who generally dispenses the tea. No plates are given for a tea of this kind, and the servant, or servants, after seeing that all is in readiness, leave the room, the gentlemen of the party doing all the waiting that is necessary.
The tea equipage is usually places upon a silver salver, the hot water is in a small silver or china kettle on a stand, and the cups are small. Thin bread and butter, sandwiches, cake, petits-fours and sometimes fresh fruit are all the eatables given. These are daintily arranged on plates, spread with lace doilies.

High Tea. - In some houses this is a permanent institution, quite taking the place of late dinner, and to many it is a most enjoyable meal, young people preferring it to dinner, it being a movable feast that can be partaken of at hours which will not interfere with tennis, boating, or other amusements. At the usual high tea there are probably to be found one or two small hot dishes, cold chicken, or game, tongue or ham, salads, cakes of various kinds, sometimes cold fruit tarts with cream or custard, and fresh fruit. Any supper dish, however, can be introduced, and much more elaborate meals be served, while sometimes the tea and coffee are relegated to the sideboard. In summer it is not unusual to have everything cold.

Family Teas. - At these meals cake, jam, sardines, potted meats, buttered toast, tea cakes and fruit are often provided, in addition to the tea, coffee, bread and butter. Watercress and radishes are nice in summer.
The hours for family teas may vary in many households, but are generally governed by the time of the dinner that has preceded them, and the kind of supper partaken of afterwards. Where this is of a very light character, such as a glass of wine and a slice of cake, or a more homely glass of beer and bread and cheese, a 6 to 7 o'clock tea would not be too later, and a few savouries or eggs would be needed in addition to the bread and butter and cake so generally found; but where a substantial supper is to follow the tea the latter would be of a very light description, and should be served as early as 4.30 to 6 o'clock.